......

i'm not sure if its a good idea to write this or not but i've been telling myself those words for a week now and i just can't get out of this dark corner.. i'm trying but i'm depressed and scared to death...
i'm scared that i'm not good enough anymore and thats not like me at all
i keep telling myself that its all such a big lie that i'm confident and i can do everything on my own... i dun feel that i can anymore...
and thats can't be true cos if its ?!

then i won't be able to tolerate living with someone i can't even look at without getting back a bunch of sour memories

i won't be able to tell my mom that i'm ok of being alone that i can do it and she dun have to worry

i won't be able to pass by my grandma's room without crying cos i miss her so much and nothing is the same without her

i won't be able to promise my dad that i won't disappoint him when i feel so disappointed in myself

i won't be able to make it through those exams and keep my high degrees

i won't be able to comfort my best friends and tell them that everything is gonna be ok ..they depend on that sometimes

if i dun believe in myself enough i won't be able to take a step forward

i won't be able to hold myself together and just be me

khaled came by yesterday he really made me laugh alot but when he left i got back into that small dark corner...

oh god... everthing in my life depends on me being confiedent and believeing that i can go through everything

and if i'm not anymore then i can't live this life ..i just won't fit

and this voice in my head won't shut up
i'm not good enough ... i'm not good enough